10 Old-School Tips For A Happy Marriage

BlackDoctor.org— Would you take relationship tips from your grandfather or your mom to make your marriage happier? Modern married couples just might do well to emulate some of the successful strategies of their happily married parents and grandparents — from sleeping in separate beds to maintaining same-sex friends.

Could “old-fashioned” practices offer greater longevity, stability, and pleasure to your marriage? Quite possibly. Here are 10 tried-and-true strategies you can borrow from your parents’ marriage to enhance your own.

1. Don’t Go to Bed Angry
Even if you can’t resolve a disagreement before you hit the sheets, you can agree to let the anger go for the night. Remind each other how lucky you are — even as you disagree — to have each other to disagree with.

2. Give Compliments
To give a compliment, you’ve got to pay attention — really notice something about someone. If it’s been a while since you’ve doled out flattering praise, try it. It costs nothing to say, “You look good,” “You did a great job,” or “I like your shirt.” Yet compliments can really reassure and pump up your spouse.

3. Hold Hands
Back in our parents’ time, hand-holding and discreet pecks on the cheek were the tasteful, chaste displays of affection.
Although anything goes these days, its encouraged that couples simply hold hands in public. It somehow affirms to everyone your undying affection and love for each other, and it shows everyone that you are proud to be with each other and you want everyone to know it. There’s an actual electrical connection that passes between us when we touch. You can use that electrical connection to provide juice in your marriage. Give each other little pats and gentle touches and hold hands frequently when you’re walking or driving and you’ll keep the energy — and the sweetness — flowing between you.

4. Cut Back on Complaints
Yesteryear’s couples had a comic reputation for nagging — yet, in truth, many partners often held their tongues. A stumbling block in modern marriages is a constant soundtrack of discord. Current generations think that closeness comes from sharing everything, letting each other know how miserable you are. But it doesn’t motivate me to treat you better. Relaying every annoyance is a bad idea. Instead, pick your battles. “Not everything needs to be addressed.”

5. Try Thoughtful Little Acts
Back in the day, with fewer stresses, limited technology and less multitasking, couples were more “present” in their relationships. The presence of little, daily thoughtful acts showed caring and appreciation for one another. Things like making breakfast for your spouse or packing their lunch, bringing them coffee in the morning or a drink or glass of wine at the end of the day, warming up their car or putting their keys and other personal effects on the hall table, ready to go. Sustaining a happy relationship requires careful thought, a generous spirit and hard work.

There’s a lot of wisdom to be gained from our parents or grandparents.They had companionship marriage, but we’ve raised the bar — we want romance, great sex, and more intimacy. We can reconcile these two approaches. With some of the gentleness and graciousness of previous generations with the technology and savvy of today’s marriages.

6. Maintain Same-Sex Friends — and Interests
Women, don’t try to regulate your husband’s pleasures and don’t be jealous if they don’t include you. It’s only been during the past couple of decades that couples expected to share a bulk of their free time together. Retro couples didn’t necessarily want to participate in each others hobbies. Couples should keep close ties with their same-sex friends throughout marriage. This will give you both time to cultivate your own interests, and not be totally reliant on each other for their entertainment.

7. Look Sharp
You can inspire romance by dressing up for the occasion. “With our hectic schedules, it’s tempting to resort to sweatpants all weekend or immediately changing into a ratty T-shirt after work. Instead, dress up the next time you and your spouse have dinner or plan a night out. Wearing a beautiful dress or a button-down shirt and slacks will be unexpected and make your partner feel special that you took the extra time to look nice. Taking time with your appearance inspires romance and shows your partner you care. Never let yourself go. Look your best as often as possible — it will make your partner feel loved and proud.

8. Put Pen to Paper
Back before cell phones and instant messaging, people wrote letters of affection to each other, often waiting weeks to receive them. Love letters exchanged between a couple can strengthen their relationship by helping them to connect to one another on a deeper level. These letters may also become treasured keepsakes that can be revisited and experienced anew each time they are read. You’ll reap bonus points if you hand write it on beautiful paper and enclose a cherished memento such as a photograph or ticket stub from a movie you saw together.

9. Reinstate Civilit
“Please,” “thank you,” “pardon me” and “may I” are phrases that seemed to have all but disappeared from present-day vocabularies, especially with our loved ones. You should extend your partner the same courtesy you would a stranger. When speaking to your spouse, don’t be rude, be respectful. Use a combination of old-school civility and modern frankness. Additionally, try more sweetness and tenderness by saying things more lovingly. Politeness is like a lubricant for your daily interactions; it makes everything go more smoothly.

Husbands, show her that chivalry is not dead: Pull out her chair, open the door for her, help her over a puddle, give her your coat when it is cold outside, help her to put on her coat. This act of affection shows that she is important and there is a level of respect for her.

10. Have Couples Fun
Cocktail hour and formal anniversary celebrations with like-minded couples were common activities shared by our parents and their friends. It’s fun and a great way to be social with others and playful with one another.

It is important to identify friends who are healthy additions to your social circle. Your goal is to become close with other couples with similar standards and interests who have positive attitudes about marriage and family life. Gravitate toward fun couples who make you feel supported and enhance your active, healthy lifestyle. Friends like these are good for your marriage and overall well-being.

Toddler drowned his newborn twin brother and left another brain damaged while alcoholic mother slept after drinking four cans of strong lager

• The mother from Merseyside drank four cans of super-strength lager
• 3-year-old ran 10-inch bath for twin brothers to make them 'nice and clean'
• Mother awoke later to find both babies unconscious and not breathing
• Pleaded guilty to three counts of neglect and said she is 'haunted' by image

 

A three-year-old boy drowned his newborn twin brother and left the other permanently brain damaged as he tried to bathe them while his alcoholic mother slept.

The boy said he wanted to make his siblings 'nice and clean' after their mother passed out having drunk four cans of super-strength lager.

The shocking sequence of events emerged in court when the mother - who cannot be identified for legal reasons - was given a one-year suspended prison sentence for neglect.

She had sought refuge at a Merseyside home with her children after escaping a relationship of domestic violence, Liverpool Crown Court heard yesterday.

The jury heard she slept in a single bed with her eldest son, with the newborn babies cradled together in a drawer.

The mother, an insomniac, fell asleep in the afternoon after drinking four cans of Special Brew, which is nine per cent alcohol.

The toddler woke up and ran a 10-inch bath of cold water.

The mother found her infant children naked and unconscious, not breathing, when she awoke.

Judge Mrs Justice Cox said: 'The drink certainly played a part in you going to sleep and failing to wake up when the toddler woke up and got out of bed.

'While you slept the toddler decided to make the twins nice and clean and he put them in the bath.

'When he woke you up you found both of your babies floating in the bath water. They were cold, naked and they weren’t breathing.'

The mother called police and paramedics, telling a 999 operator that she had found her newborn twins unresponsive.

Both babies were given CPR and were taken to Alder Hey Children's Hospital in West Derby, Liverpool, where they were put on life support.

Days later, one of the boys died in his father's arms. His brother, who suffered a cardiac arrest, was left with severe brain damage.

The court heard he is likely to be severely affected by cerebral palsy and will need round-the-clock care for the rest of his life.



Emergency: The boys were taken to Alder Hey Hospital in Liverpool. Days later one died in his father's arms



David McLaughlin, defending, said the mother will be haunted by what happened forever.

He said: 'She bears full responsibility – not a day goes by when she doesn’t think about what happened.

'Every morning she wakes up with a vision of her babies’ faces in the bath, a vision that will haunt her forever-more.'

He added: 'She wants it to be known that she holds herself fully responsible for what occurred and she wants her toddler son to know, if ever that time should arise when he is older, that through her plea of guilty she accepts full responsibility for what occurred and no blame should be laid against him.'

She was handed a one-year prison sentence, suspended for two years, and a supervision order after pleading guilty to three counts of neglect.

Mrs Justice Cox revealed this is not the first time the mother has come into contact with social services.



Sentenced: The mother received a one-year jail sentence, suspended for two years at Liverpool Crown Court


She had previously been warned by health workers of the dangers of drinking while caring for children.

Mrs Justice Cox told her: 'This was not a case involving positive and deliberate acts of abuse or ill-treatment. I accept you intended no harm.

'But you chose to drink strong lager that day and its effects were devastating.

'I have noted you had been advised by health workers as to the risks of alcohol misuse and caring properly for young children.

'You were responsible for those young children in your care and there was a serious breach of the standards they were entitled to have.'

The judge described the mother as 'in general terms, a loving and caring mother who understands the duties and responsibility of motherhood'.

She added: 'Your real punishment will lie in the images that will stay with you, possibly permanently, of what happened that day.'

#dailymail.co.uk

NELSON MANDELA DIES @ 95! R.I.P.GREAT MAN!

“Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity.” ~ Nelson Mandela 1996


 


(CNN) -- Nelson Mandela, the revered statesman who emerged from prison after 27 years to lead South Africa out of decades of apartheid, has died, South African President Jacob Zuma announced late Thursday.

Mandela was 95.

"He is now resting. He is now at peace," Zuma said. "Our nation has lost its greatest son. Our people have lost a father."

"What made Nelson Mandela great was precisely what made him human," the president said in his late-night address. "We saw in him what we seek in ourselves."

Mandela will have a state funeral. Zuma ordered all flags in the nation to be flown at half-staff from Friday through that funeral.

Mandela, a former president, battled health issues in recent months, including a recurring lung infection that led to numerous hospitalizations.

With advancing age and bouts of illness, Mandela retreated to a quiet life at his boyhood home in the nation's Eastern Cape Province, where he said he was most at peace. He was later moved to his home in the Johannesburg suburb of Houghton, where he died.

Despite rare public appearances, he held a special place in the consciousness of the nation and the world.

“We need more customer base of three million Nigerians to be able to go into fridge manufacturing.” - PZ Cussons

Richard Harvey is the global chairman of PZ Cussons Plc.

He was in the country last week to commission the company’s subsidiary (HPZ Limited) new assembling line for its fridge products.

In this interview, he noted that fridge factory is highly capital intensive and in order for the company to be competitive, “We need more customer base of three million Nigerians to be able to go into fridge manufacturing.”

Excerpt:
How long have you been doing business in Nigeria?
As you know, PZ Cussons Nigeria is the largest subsidiary of PZ Cussons. We have been operating in the country for more than a hundred year.

So , Nigeria has been a backbone of our operation as a group.What is the contribution of PZ Nigeria to your global sales?
That is a very good question. PZ Nigeria contributes about 30 percent to our global turnover.
So Nigeria is a very important part of the group.

Do you have plans of extending your products category to other sectors of the Nigerian economy?
AS you are probably aware, we have interest in Nigeria’s agriculture sector where we have invested N10 billon in palm oil refinery at Ikorodu area of Lagos. We have started producing our vegetable oil under the brand name ‘Mamadore’ produced from crude oil palm and refined to the highest quality and bottled to international standard. For us it is exciting bringing into the market great product. The product has been in the market in the last three months.

What are your key challenges and how is it affecting productivity?
Productivity actually is improving. We are improving productivity with the patronage our brands are enjoing and we have been bring in new machinery and equipment to improve productivity and produce products that are of high quality and competitive. PZ is a global brand and we are producing according to global standards.

How much money have you invested in Nigeria in the past five years?
In the last five years, we have invested about 130 million dollars.

What did you want to achieve with this new production line?
It will help to rapidly expand the distribution of our fridge products in Nigeria and Ghana.
We anticipate that the demand will keep growing and with the factory, we are ready to sustain supply.

What message do you have for your Nigerian shareholders?
They are investing in the right company.

You have spent so much money on internal expansion, are you thinking of doing any capital issues?
No. The group as a whole is strongly capitalised. Besides we are conservative about borrowing.

How many jobs have you created in support of Nigerian government’s Transformation Agenda?
Currently, we have 2,500 workers across the country on our payroll and we are increasing the number by 30 to 50 percent, through our PZ Wimar palm oil project. In 2010, PZ Cussons Plc entered into a joint venture (PZ Wilmar Ltd) with Wilmar International to build a palm oil refinery in Nigeria and build up an associate food ingredients business.

What is your capacity utilisation?
The capacity utiisation in this factory is a little bit lower than what we would like to do now.Honestly, we are building for the future.

What percentage of your raw materials is sourced locally?
Honestly, our record speaks for itself; we make much use of local raw materials in our milk products like Nunu milk.The content and can are sourced locally except the machinery for packaging it.

What about transition to full scale manufacturing instead of assembling?
Of course, we would love to produce locally, but most certainly it is a long – term plan. This is because the fridge factory is highly capital intensive and in order for us to be competitive, we probably need more customer base of three million Nigerians to be able to go into fridge manufacturing. As of now; we have not decided to go into it until we are able to capture more market out of the 160 million people in the country.

In recent times, many foreign companies have been increasing their shareholdings in Nigerian companies; do you intend to do the same?
No. We have over 85,000 shareholders and we are holding about 70 percent. As of now, there is no plan to increase our shareholding in a Nigerian subsidiary. However, we are committed to our shareholders and the Nigerian economy.

#vanguard

Obama Forbidden iPhone for Security Reasons.......Looks like Blackberry will keep at least one loyal customer!

President Barack Obama publicly explained why he is sticking with his bulky Blackberry—the super-secure device is the only one he is allowed to carry.

At a meeting to promote the health care law at the White House on Wednesday, Obama told a group of young people, “I’m not allowed for security reasons to have an iPhone.” He added that daughters Sasha and Malea spend a lot of time on their iPhones.

Agence France-Presse reports that even though Blackberry has hemorrhaged market share to Apple and other tech firms, it’s still popular among officials in Washington because of its strong encryption. Around the time of his inauguration in 2009, Obama fought to keep his Blackberry; he has said he doesn’t want to be kept in the “White House bubble” where the majority of the president’s communications are filtered by staff and the media.

Obama also reportedly has a personal email address that’s limited to a small group of senior officials and close friends.

#AFP